


Riddle Me This

by phipiohsum475



Series: The English Mistake [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Supernatural
Genre: Crossover, Drabbles, Hell, Multiverse, Post-Episode: s06e15 The French Mistake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-06-06 16:10:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6760891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phipiohsum475/pseuds/phipiohsum475
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crowley snarled, “Riddle? There’s a bloody fucking wanker if I’d ever met one.” </p>
<p>
  <b> This is a series of conversations that won't leave me alone. It will not be a fully fleshed out story.</b>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Riddle Me This

“Hello, boys,” the man spoke without even looking; he’d clearly been summoned before. Something different must have caught his notice; he looked up gravely, then  gave Hermione charming smile. “Oh, hello, bird,” he addressed her, “What are you doing amongst these ruffians?”

Hermione snorted, completely unswayed by what she assumed he thought of as his British charm. “I’m a married woman and certainly not your _bird_. Castiel told Sam and Dean you might be able to help me, although if your knowledge is as old as your etiquette, I’m not sure you’ll be of any use.”

Dean bit his fist to hide his laughter, and Sam struggled to keep a straight face as he spoke first, “Hermione, this is Crowley. He’s the king of Hell.”

“King of Hell? Like the Devil? That’s a C of E fairy tale,” Hermione dismissed.

“He ain’t the Devil, but don’t forget, sweetheart, this ain’t your world,” Dean reminded her. “He runs Hell, and in this world, that means the demons and witches, too.”

“Hell is run by an Englishman? Why am I not surprised?” Hermione deadpanned.

“I was Scottish when I was human, you daft cow, but when I popped into this meat suit, I got stuck with a _bloody English accent_ ,” Crowley’s growl neared a centaur’s shriek.

“So in Hell, the Scots become English?” Hermione chuckled until she saw the look on Crowley’s face. She changed tactics, saying sweetly, “I went to secondary in Scotland. Lovely place.”

“Ta,” Crowley replied caustically.

Dean stepped up, standing with Hermione. “So, Cas confirms that the duchess here’s a bona-fide witch, but not one of yours. She’s from some other universe or some bullshit. But he mind-whammied her, and said you’d be the dick that could help her get back to where she belongs.”

“Relying on that charming wit again, aren’t we, Captain Kirk?” Crowley smirked. “And what else did Spock have to say?”

Sam saw Dean’s chest puff up and cut in before his brother could run his mouth, “Said the name Tom Riddle. That you’d know who he was, and where he was. She’s from the same place.”

Crowley snarled, “Riddle? There’s a bloody fucking wanker if I’d ever met one.” He turned to Hermione, “Did you get the privilege of meeting that poncy, gormless pillock?”

Hermione gave a gasped, half-chuckle at his complete disregard. “Voldemort, yeah. He was a bit more mad, a bit more depraved than that in my world, though.” Her jaw locked and she grit out, “Genocide, torture, mind control; thank Merlin he’s dead.”

“Good,” Crowley answered, unconcerned by her change in demeanour. “I’d toss the arsehole in Lucifer’s cage if I could. Give the brothers some fresh meat.”

“What’d he do to you?” Hermione asked carefully, her tone empathetic, but sceptical. He didn’t seem to grasp the horrors of the war, but Voldemort had obviously gutted him somehow.

“Broke the bloody deal, that’s what,” Crowley spat, “He broke a deal, _with me_.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr.](http://phipiohsum475.tumblr.com)


End file.
